英语幽默小故事第1篇Myhusband，Michael，abusdriver，waspassingadesertedbusstopwhenoneofhispassengerscalledoutthat下面是小编为大家整理的英语幽默小故事14篇,供大家参考。
英语幽默小故事 第1篇
My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get He pulled up to the curb and opened the
我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。
After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street
过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the
麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the ”Wait a minute!”she "My mother"s ”
趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”
英语幽默小故事 第2篇
Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics
Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible "
Economists can supply it on demand .
You can talk about money without ever having to make
You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face .
Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out .
When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are
If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we get taught that reward is its own
When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal
学习经济学的九大理由
经济学家们会武功：“小心我们的无影手。”
经济学家们能够做到有求必应。
你可以不必挣钱而对金钱夸夸其谈。
你可以开始拉着脸说“涓滴”这一术语了。
米克·贾格尔和阿诺德·施瓦辛格两人都学过经济学，看看他们后来都成为了什么样的人物。
站在失业队伍里的时候，至少你会知道自己为什么失业。
假如重新安排“经济学”这个词包含的字母，你得到的是“小丑的鼻子”。
伦理学教导我们坚守德行本身即是回报，在经济学中我们得到的教导则是获得回报本身即是德行。
喝醉了的时候，你可以告诉所有人你只是在体验边际效用递减规律而已。
英语幽默小故事 第3篇
Too Much Pressure
For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job，but now I found out the real reason：I’m tired because I’m population of this country is 237 million are leaves 133 million to do the are 85 million in school，which leaves 48 million to do the this there are 29 million employed by the federal government，leaving 19 million to do the million are in the Armed Forces，which leaves million to do the from the total the million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves million to do the any given time there are 188，000 people in hospitals，leaving 1，212，000 to do the ，there are 1，211，998 people in leaves just two people to do the and you’re sitting at the table reading
压力太大
多年以来我一直感到很疲惫，我曾经把原因归咎为缺乏睡眠以及来自于工作上的巨大压力。但是，我现在找到了真正的原因：我感到疲倦是因为我超负荷工作。我们这个国家有亿人口。其中亿已经退休了。还剩下亿在工作。有8，500万人还在上学，工作的就剩下4，800万。这其中还有2，900万联邦政府雇员，真正做事的就剩1，900万人，又有280万人在服兵役，就剩下1，620万人在工作。从中再去掉各州和市政府的雇员1，480万人，还剩下140万人工作。但又有万人生病住院，现在只剩下万人工作。其中1，211，998人在坐牢。这样仅剩下两个人在工作，就是你和我。而你却坐在桌边看笑话。
英语幽默小故事 第4篇
Economist Poem
If you do some acrobatics
with a little mathematics
it will take you far
If your idea"s not defensible
don"t make it comprehensible
or folks will find you out ,
and your work will draw attention
if you only fail to mention
what the whole thing is
If an economist you will be,
you must talk of GNP
and of elasticity,
of rates of substitution,
of the other propensity,
and marginal this, and marginal
经济学家之歌
如果你在玩花样的时候
用上一点点数学，
它将让你显得高深莫测。
如果你的想法不是无懈可击
那就让它若即若离，
不然人们会揭穿你的老底;
你的工作将会引起世人的注意，
只要你没有提及
你的葫芦里到底卖的是什么狗皮。
假如你想在将来成为一名经济学家，
你就必须谈论国民生产总值
以及弹性系数，
必须谈论替代率，
谈论其他倾向
以及各种边际。
英语幽默小故事 第5篇
聪明的鸟
When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;I see you,and the saint sees
一位窃贼一天夜里闯进一个好像没有人的空房子。突然寂静中传来一声:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”
The shaken thief took another tentative “I see you，”the voice said again:“and the saint sees “With that，the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming There，in the circle of light，sat a
这位惊恐不安的贼又试图再走一步，那个声音又说:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”听到声音，窃绒用手电照着声音所传来的方向。在那边儿，一束灯光下坐着一只鹦鹉。
Dumb bird,!"the burglar uttered in
“该死的鸟，”窃贼像松了口气似地骂着。
I see you，”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees
“我看见你了。”鹦鹉重复地叨唠着:“圣人也看见你了。”
Shut up，“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp， that"s when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot"s perch，staring at him with glittering
“闭嘴，”窃贼边开灯，边喊叫着。这时他发现一条眼光咄咄逼人的构坐在鹦鹉旁。
Sic" em，Saint,squawked the
鹦鹉尖叫着:“圣人，扑呀!扑呀!”
英语幽默小故事 第6篇
The Ant and the Dove
An ant is walking by the He looks at the river and says to himself, “How nice and cool this water looks! I must drink some of ” But when he is drinking, he slips into the
“!Help!” The ant cries,
A dove is sitting in the She hears him and throws him a leaf, “Climb up that leaf,” she says “and you will float ”
The ant climbs uo onto the leaf, and the wind blows the leaf to the And the ant is
“Thank you, You’re so kind,” The ant says and runs home, “You have saved my life, and I wish I could do something for you, Goodbye!”
“Goodbye!” says the dove, “Be Not to fall into the river ”
After a few days, the dove is building her And a man is raising his gun to shoot
The ant sees this, and runs quickly to bite the man’s “Ouch! Ouch!” The man feels pained and drops his The dove hears and flies So the man picks up his gun and
The dove comes to her “Thank you, my little friend,” she says, “You have saved my ”
The little ant is so glad, because he can help the
蚂蚁和鸽子
一只蚂蚁在河边散步。他看见喝水自言自语道：“这河水看上去真清凉啊!我要去喝点。”可是他在喝水的时候，一不小心滑进河里了。
“啊!救命!救命!’蚂蚁叫喊着。
一只鸽子正呆在树上，听见呼救声，就扔给他一片树叶。“快爬到树叶上去。她说：“你会漂到岸上的。”
“谢谢你，鸽子。你真善良。”蚂蚁一边说一边向家跑，“你就了我的命，我会奥达你的。再见!”
“再见!小心别掉进河里了。”鸽子说。
几天后，鸽子正在筑巢，一个人举着枪要打鸽子。蚂蚁看见了，迅速地跑过去，在那个人的腿上咬了一口。“啊呀!哎呀!”那个人疼得扔掉枪。鸽子听见了，连忙飞走了。那个人只好捡起枪，走了。
鸽子又飞回巢里。“谢谢你，我的小朋友。”鸽子说，“你就了我的命。”
小蚂蚁可高兴了，因为他也帮助了鸽子。
英语幽默小故事 第7篇
Put Down My Shepherd Dog
Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of
He tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this " The shepherd thinks it over ; it"s a big flock so he takes the "973," says the The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly The shepherd says, "OK, I"m a man of my word, take an " Man picks one up and begins to walk away .
Wait, cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even . Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation ." Man says "You are a quantitative economist for a government think tank ," says the "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"
Well, says the shepherd, "put down my shepherd dog and I will tell "
放下我的牧羊犬
有人在乡间小路上偶遇一位牧羊人和一大群绵羊，他对牧羊人说：“我和你打赌，如果我猜中这群羊的数目，我得你一只羊，如猜错，你得我100元。”牧羊人想了一会，认为这一大群羊可不好数，于是欣然接受。“一共973只。”此人脱口说道。牧羊人听后大为惊奇，因为数目的确不错。牧羊人说道：“我是个言而有信的人，拿走一只吧。”于是，此人抱起一只就想离开。
“等等，”牧羊人急忙喊道，“给我一个扳平的机会吧。如果我猜对你的职业的话，你就空手走人，我要是猜错的话，你就再带走一只。”此人欣然同意。“你是一位数量经济学家，在政府智囊机构工作。”牧羊人说道。“太神奇啦!”此人应声说道，“完全正确!可是请告诉我你是如何推论出来的呢?”
“好吧，”牧羊人说道，“先把我的牧羊犬放下来我再告诉你。”
英语幽默小故事 第8篇
A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency “Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency “The request was repeated several times with no reply from the ，in exasperation the controller raised his "Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency ”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt
一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”
英语幽默小故事 第9篇
Where Did the Chaos Come from?
An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were arguing about what was God"s
real The philosopher said, "Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to " "Ridiculous!" said the biologist, "Before that, God created man and woman and all living things, so clearly he was a " "Wrong," said the architect, "Before that, he created the heavens and the Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos! So clearly he was an " "Well," said the economist, "where do you think the chaos came from?"
混乱来自何方?
经济学家、哲学家、生物学家和建筑师讨论上帝的真正职业是什么。哲学家说：“首先，上帝是位哲学家，因为他为世人定下了做人的标准。”“多可笑!”生物学家不以为然地说道，“在那之前上帝就创造出了男人、女人和世间众生，因此很显然他是位生物学家。”“错!”建筑师说道，“在那之前上帝创造出了天和地。而在他造出地球之前，世界完全被混乱和混沌所笼罩，因此他是位建筑师。”“那么，”经济学家不慌不忙地说道，“你们认为这些混乱又是谁制造的呢?”
英语幽默小故事 第10篇
Bernie was invited to his friend"s home for Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet " Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years "
Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie发现，不管问他老婆什么问题，Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼，象蜜糖，我的爱人，亲爱的，甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说，“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的，结婚这么多年了，你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头，小声地对Bernie说，“老实跟你说吧，三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”
英语幽默小故事 第11篇
What Do Two Plus Two Equal?
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same The interviewer
calls in the mathematician and asks, "What do two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies, "" The interviewer asks, "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says, "Yes, four, "
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says, "On average , four—give or take ten percent, but on average, "
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up , locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, "What do you want it to equal?"
2加2等于几?
一位数学家、一位会计师和一位经济学家申请同一份工作。面试官先把数学家叫进了办公室问道：“2加2等于几?”
“等于4。”数学家答道。面试官继续问：“不多不少恰好等于4吗?”数学家感到不可思议，看着面试官答道：“没错啊，就等于4。”
接着，面试官把会计师叫了进来，问了相同的问题：“2加2等于几?”
“通常等于4，但上下有10%的浮动，不过通常等于4。”
最后，面试官把经济学家叫了进来，问了相同的问题：“2加2等于几?”只见经济学家站了起来，关上门，拉上了窗帘，然后坐到面试官旁边，低声问道：“你想让它等于几?”
英语幽默小故事 第12篇
The Less You Know, the More Money You Make
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is
Postulate 2: Time is
As every engineer knows, Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have
Solving for Money, we get:
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work
Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you
知识越少挣钱越多
定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：
假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。
假设二：时间就是金钱。
每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。
因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。
结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。
英语幽默小故事 第13篇
They Should Be Playing at Night
A therapist, a priest and an economist go The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I"ve preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I"ve been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at "
他们本该在晚上打球
神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他自我介绍说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”
英语幽默小故事 第14篇
磕睡之人
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the
收师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时睡觉。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人打瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好地教育他不要睡觉。
In a whisper, he asked the All who want to go to heaven, please rise， Everyone got up except the After whispering Be seated，the minister shouted at the top of his voice，All those who want to be with the devil，please
他低声地对教徒们说:“想去天堂的人都站起来。”除打瞌睡的人外，每个人都站了起来。牧师说过请坐之后，高声喊道:“下地狱的请站起来!”
Awaking with a start，the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit,”Well，sir, he ,I don"t know what we"re voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声所惊醒，站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气地望着他。他说:“先生，我不知我们在选什么，但看上去你和我是的侯选人。